How I felt.

Up until a few years ago, I felt like people treated me like a child, or that I was looked at as less mature because of my larger body.

As if the state of my body was a measure for my ability to “adult”, the larger it was, the less capable I was.

It felt as though I wasn’t completely in control of my life, because I was heavier, like I couldn’t be taken seriously because of how I looked.

I often stopped caring about myself completely because it felt like I just didn’t have the ability or maturity.

It was bullshit. I projected how I felt about myself, often assuming others felt the same way.

I closed so many doors, gave up so many opportunities because I let myself believe I didn’t deserve it. After all, I couldn’t even maintain my weight, how could I excel in anything?

I spun a tale of woe, like no one believed in me, truth being, I never truly believed in myself.

I still sometimes feel like I don’t have my shit together, and it’s flashing over my head like a neon sign. And you know what, I probably don’t have it all figured out, but I know now it’s not because of my body.

My size isn’t measure of my maturity or ability (this is me, reiterating that to myself!).

Happy International Women’s Day.

I’m an adoptee.

I’m a domestic abuse survivor.

I’m a person who has had to shift gears and start over numerous times.

I’m a soft heart surrounded by a tough exterior.

I’m a mother who gets it wrong 60% of the time, but will never give less than 120% all of the time.

I am strong, valuable, deserve my words to be heard and read.

I’m a mess, but a beautiful one.

I am a Woman.

I am raising a Woman. And she will know she’s got the world in her hand.

Happy International Woman’s Day, you amazing humans.

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