I got this shot accidentally the other day.
I noticed how my body has changed, over the last year. Over the last 5 years, 10 years, since before I was a mother.
I have been asked this question, and I asked it last night in the clubhouse chat about Body Confidence (shakily, I was nervous!)
How does someone move from mourning a body they had, to accepting and eventually appreciating the body they have this moment?
While there is no single concrete, the general consensus is learning and continually working to appreciate yourself and your body for all it does for you now. That is an absolute truth.
My answer is:
I’ve seen my body change over three births spread 10.5 years apart, 3 drastic weight loss attempts that ended in regain, health conditions. My weight looks like a skyline view of the mountains, peaks and valleys.
Never in those times of change was there an ability for me to move from missing the body I had to appreciating it, no matter how hard I tried to switch my internal thinking.
Until I let myself actually mourn. I cried, I yelled, I looked at old pictures. I rode the wave of sadness and let it wash over me.
Then I stared deeply at those pictures. Saw how hard I faked my smiles, how I hid my “thinner” body at pool parties, how hungry I was when I refused food to get my “pre baby” body back, how I would work out for hours, missing moments with my kids.
Once I let myself feel the feelings, I was able move beyond mourning, into accepting. I had processed the sadness, realizing it was always there, and it had nothing to do with the scale.
The journey from accepting to appreciating is one I am still on. Some days I accept, and some days I truly appreciate.
For some, the answer is knowing you will mourn, work to focus on what your body does and challenging your inner critic, that helps move to acceptance.
For others we need to plant deeply in the mourning, let it consume us, and then let it fade. Then take the next next step in our healing.
This journey is so personal, one or both or a completely different scenario might be the path you take. But no matter how what direction you choose, they all start with a first step.