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Love after disaster?

There is something about love after living with  abuse, after fighting to survive, after finding courage to stand alone.  It’s so much deeper for me now.  To love, and allow myself to be loved, carries so much more meaning because I have learned to keep up my guard and be on the defense.  The truth is, for a while there, I didn’t believe I’d give my heart away again.  I was ok with just me, I didn’t need someone, I was whole, but life had other plans.   I was gifted another chance to get it right.  My children were gifted a strong man, my little family was gifted a new member and all of this is my reward after fighting through hell.  

The language of Love.

His love language is touch and affection. Mine is acts of service.  We couldn’t be farther apart on that spectrum.  We are learning to be transparent and ask for what we need, working on speaking each other’s language, instead of trying to communicate love to the other thru our own.  

I am not an affectionate person, hugs with non immediate family members make me uncomfortable, and cuddles with my family are hugs and short sessions, it’s just who I am.  I show my love by making sure  you have everything you need, you are fed, laundry cleaned and do not want for anything.  He wants physical closeness, but doesn’t see doing things for his family as a way to convey how he feels.  

Neither of us are wrong, we both show we love and love deeply.

There is no black and white when it come to loving someone.  There isn’t a wrong way, or a right way.  How you love, will never be the same as how someone else does.  It’s like an emotional finger print, no two are the same.  

Marriage, relationships, friendships all need and for both people to work on identifying the other’s love language, and Rosetta Stone-ing the heck out of it until you’re fluent.  Learn to see how your loved ones need to be loved, and  show them how you need to be loved.  You need to be transparent, or else you’ll just be see through.